A broken friendship…….

They always say that finding a true friend is like finding a precious gem.  It is for keeps. To be valued. To be appreciated.  To have a shoulder to cry and lean on in times of sorrow, difficulties and testing. To be there to cheer on and celebrate in all triumphs, victories and joy. But what if friends suddenly turned back on you and live a life without you?

There will always come a time when people who have been in your life for years simply no longer have a place. They say it is a passage of time. Over the years people come and go. As fast as the technology changes we  also change, we grow apart and sometimes some of us still opt to  stay, maybe because neither one of us know how to say goodbye. Or just to say we are still friends.

I have layers, like an onion.  The one who knows me best,  have been there with me  through thick and thin.  Just like a precious stone or metals that have to dig the inner core of the earth thousand times just to get it. Have to clean, purifies and works on to see the glimpse of the beauty of it.

I am not a people person.  I don’t have a huge set of friends.  Most of them are just mere acquaintances and common friends. Those who really know me from inside and out are just few. They are limited. And it sad to accept that those limited few, those whom you trusted and cared for will leave you for someone have much more than you.

That's sad, sometimes friends, no matter how much we love them, no matter how much we care for them and will do anything for them, even risking our own lives for them , aren’t meant to be forever they will still find someone better than you. It is hard to accept sometimes. I still cling on.  I want to remember the good times we have since the times we became friends.  I want to remember the person who, at the time in my life was a gift to me.  I want to remember the good qualities when they are harder to see now. I want to hold on the times that we are seemed inseparable. It is hard to let go.  It is hard to accept change when it is no longer for the better.

It's hard to hold on to the friendship that is not working anymore. It is hard to pretend that nothing change, that everything will be back to normal in due course. It is frustrating. Because even though how hard you try to patch things up the brokenness' still there. Even the wound once healed will leave a scar.

But I know and I believe it will be for our best.  Maybe it means this person is drifting out in my life so that someone much better can drift in.  It's hard to accept change yet change is necessary for us to move forward.  

Life goes on, old friends may still be there or leaves you and along the way you will find new friends.  We don’t know what the future might hold.  Only God knows. But what's more important is that you give your best shot, you give it all. No regrets.

Still the memories will lives on, the good times, the fights, the frustration and sweet and sour taste of friendship – all of it. Because without those people, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.  We may not be friends anymore but I wish you well.  Keep in mind you will always be in prayers, and somewhere along the road as our path will meet again I still be grateful that once in my life I have you as my friend. Our friendship may turn sour but what is important are the lessons well learned.    

 

Small thing called TONGUE

One of the word that struck during the discipleship training last night was the use of tongue. We all know that it is one of the smallest part of our body but yet did we also knew that it is also the toughest and sharpest part our body. Even the bible told us that our tongue is a small part of our body but it makes great boast (James 3:5). It is like setting a big forest fire with just a small spark. Our tongue is like a small spark that if we don’t know how to control, it will create big and wild fire which we might not be able to stop immediately. If it will not be tamed, it will cause separation and division among us.

I admit sometimes or most of the times I'm not too sensible with others' feeling. I sometimes speak harsh and sharply. I say what I want to say especially when I'm in the middle of anger. I utter words that are not pleasing to hear. I utter words untactful, just to say something, because for me it's nothing, just a slip of the tongue, not a big deal. But what about those around me, those people who will hear those words or to the person I spoke with directly? Did he or she will take it easily as well or did I hurt him already? I'm guilty and I cannot undo it anymore. And even though I asked forgiveness for thousand times the fact that someone is hurting because of my carelessness is something I have to dealt with myself.

Our tongue has the ability to make or to break, to uplift or to destroy, to praise or to criticize, to unite or to divide. We are using our tongue to praise and glorify God and yet we are also using this to hurt His most love and precious creations.

If the eyes are the mirror of our soul then the tongue is the wellspring of our heart. As the bible said "Out in the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh" (Mat. 12:34). It goes out what is inside. As children of God, those people surrounds us are not only looking on how we live or lives but they are very keen in every syllables, every words, every phrase that we will utter.

Don’t allow somebody ignore the salvation God is offering them because of improper use of our tongue but instead let us use our tongue in sharing them the good news and the eternal blessing that is waiting for them.

There's power in our tongue it's up to us on how we will use it. For me from now on I will use it wisely.

Let us start to use it in releasing blessings and uplifting words only.

….The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21…

a way to end a holiday

One of the many privilege  we have while working and living in a Muslim country is the Ramadan season though it quite sacrificial also for us because we are not allowed to eat, drink or even chew gums inside our office and in public places during day time but at least the working time is lesser that the usual (though I don’t have Saturday off ) and its 3 days holiday after that. For my last 6 years here I'd always spent the holidays outside with friends, going to other parts of the emirates, sleep-overs, going to the mall, swimming, doing endless and tiresome activities just to say that we spend the holiday wisely. But this time it  was totally different and still I can say that I spend the holiday wisely. Just like what I said in our prayer meeting last Sunday, this is so far the most relaxing, quiet and thriftiest  Eid I ever had. It is not because nobody invited me to go anywhere but it is ultimately my choice not to. Mainly because I'm "illegal alien" as the moment, my visa was not able to renew before the end of  Ramadan , my emirates id, labor card and residence visa are all expired and my passport (though I still have 30 days grace period) is already with our PRO, and I don’t want to take the  risk of going anywhere without proper documents, so I don’t have any choice but to stay at home.

But God is good He doesn’t let me end the holiday all by myself, I may not be able to experience an adventurous, tiring and drop dead head and body pain get away ( there's always next time) but it was ended in a simple, serene and relax manner.

……it was ended over an afternoon of laughter and stories with  venti size coffee with a friend and a perfect early evening walk in the beach with someone I love.